It’s been 6 months since I’ve been in America. There are ways in which nothing has changed and ways in which everything has changed. Maybe forever? I really can’t say. There are some days I just really don’t know what to do with that.
The newness and optimism of figuring out how to do things has waned. Zoom calls are being reduced to videos that have to be watched after the fact because they no longer accommodate the variety of timezones. Things around me and America in general is pushing back to “normal” (whatever that means) so the encouragement of kind of all being in this together is evaporating. That isn’t making things easier. The best thing to come of all of this was a connectedness that somehow happened. Seeing those connections fade while also not getting back to some semblance of the life I was leading… what am I supposed to do with that? To be clear, I know my brand of trauma from this year is not the only kind. Mine does not discount yours.
Everyone keeps asking my plans. I don’t really know what to do with that either. I mean, I get it though. It’s impossible not to wonder with decreasing support and an unknown return date, just how long this holding pattern is reasonable? I don’t have an answer for that. It’s been a year and the Philippines is back in the strictest level of lockdown with more Covid than ever before and people struggling to even find a place to get admitted when the sickness requires hospitalization. All of this has wildly exceeded anything we could have attempted to expect. All I really have to give is that for the time being I’m still working for Faith Academy remotely and still missionary support based through First Love. If you’re still supporting me, thank you. If you’re able to come back to supporting me, that is also very much appreciated.
**If you missed all the reasons why I had to leave the Philippines to begin with and what I’m doing remotely, you can read about all the things.
These next two weeks would have been production time again. All I can do is shake my head and wonder when we will even get to start processing the fall out from all of this, let alone what it will take to rebuild. It might seem to some that it’s just music, it’s just silly little plays, people singing and dancing, just artsy frufru… what’s the big deal? Ugh, there’s a reason why people make movies about music teachers and the athlete that wants to perform and people stealing back cultural artifacts… Sadly, it seems that we either take for granted or wildly underestimate the implications of life without art. Sigh.
For now I’m in Ohio, but my windows are open and it feels like THE BEST PART of Philippine cool season. IYKYK. I was smart enough to bring my hammock home, but wasn’t expecting to experience weather warm enough to need the associated clothing. Retail therapy is 👍 . So is buckeye ice cream on a sunny day. Again IYKYK. Friday nights are for spending with cousins (a thing that used to only happen on random holidays) and I’m really hoping that when we get around to taking it down, that my bike will be functional. Zoom seems to be out but Marco Polo is in so there’s that (you gotta pick the Phils which adds the +63 followed the digits 9414469418). Okay, byyyee.
